If I believe that this is possible then I might want to go back and really honestly answer the step one questions again. First off there is nothing to control. If I find myself trying to control anything I have slipped back into instinct mode. This control does not have to be of some outside situation. It could be my own emotional state.
Remember that your natural resting state is neutrality. You as the “I” or self has a will. It can align its will with instinct or being.
For you emotional based folks out there, your feelings will be the true indicator of where you have aligned your will. These feelings will never be an indicator of the true facts alone. Sometimes your feelings will be right on the bulls eye but other times they will only be evidence that you have forgotten who and what you truly are.
The being does not try to control anything. That is why it will let you take all the self defeating actions you want. This is not because the being and the ultimate powers of love and truth that it is a part of don't care. They love us unconditionally. They allow us to fall as many times as we please. They allow us the dignity of our own experience.
Now contrast this with our instinct mind. They could not be any different. The instinct minds only job in life is to protect and sustain a physical body so the being and self have chances to love and express life force between one another. The instincts allow the being and the love and truth it embodies to be unconditional. You get the picture.
Now trying to control my self defeating beliefs sounds awful and impossible. It sounds very much like trying to manage my life with the same part of my mind which is responsible for my unmanageablity. It sounds and feels like instincts out of control. Trauma is the reason for sting of the self defeating beliefs reasons. These reasons are sometimes plausible and even rational. For example:
You could be in a new relationship with someone who you care for very much. You might actually love this person in a very real way which is very scary to another part of you which has trouble seeing clearly. that part of you is the unconscious belief self that feeds itself from your subconscious.
Love is not scary. It is actually quite healing and wonderful. What is scary are all the times in the past when you may have believed you were in love but were actually just in obsession or fixing you feelings and using another person to feel better. This is what the belief self does. It PRODUCES feelings of love. It uses others to achieve this and in the end it crashes to earth. When these short lived flights of fancy end the same pain and hopelessness comes rushing back that was always there except in the fleeting moments when this belief self was able to PRODUCE a feeling of love.
Do you see that it will do this just so later you can tell yourself that love hurts so don't even try? It is not love but rather your unconscious support of what you believe that has always hurt. So back to this new opportunity in the form of a relationship. I have discovered that OBSERVABLE ACTION is the road map to determining the truth. Maybe your head is saying stuff like this:
We are not capable
IN WHAT EXACT WAYS HAVE EITHER YOU OR HIM DEMONSTRATED THAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS?
IN WHAT EXACT WAYS HAVE YOU ALREADY DEMONSTRATED THAT YOU CAN IN FACT HANDLE THIS?
That he will sabotage this through self destructive actions just like he has shared with me about his past. He did it before so why would this be any different?
HAS HE DEMONSTRATED TO YOU THROUGH HIS OBSERVABLE ACTIONS THAT HE IS UNSTABLE OR ENGAGING IN SELF DESTRUCTIVE ACTION?
IS HE CONSCIOUSLY CONNECTED TO HIS OWN GPS TODAY?
PLEASE LIST ANY OBSERVABLE ACTIONS THAT HE HAS TAKEN BELOW:
Its irresponsible to let my daughter like him or me to like him the way that I do.
HOW DOES HE HE TREAT YOUR DAUGHTER IN THE MOMENTS THEY ARE TOGETHER?
HAS HE DEMONSTRATED ANY UNSAFE OR INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR WITH YOUR DAUGHTER?
DO YOU FEAR THAT YOUR DAUGHTER WOULD GET CLOSE TO HIM FOR ANY OTHER REASONS?
EXACTLY HOW DO YOU CARE FOR THIS MAN? OBSERVABLE ACTION PLEASE.
This is all just fantasy and practically speaking, we don't work.
PLEASE LIST THE EXACT WAYS IN WHICH THIS IS IMPRACTICAL
PLEASE LIST THE EXACT WAYS THAT THIS IS FANTASY
REMEMBER TO ONLY LIST OBSERVABLE ACTION NOT WHAT YOUR HEAD SAYS
PLEASE NOW LIST THE WAYS THAT IT IS REAL AND PRACTICAL
My mind tells me I'm not equipped for this.
WOULD YOUR BEING TELL YOU THAT YOU COULD NOT HANDLE SOMETHING? IF YOU WERE CONSCIOUSLY CONNECTED TO ITS POWER HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE?
And that friendship is the only way to proceed.
IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY REALLY LOVING THIS MAN HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE WITHOUT A SOLID FRIENDSHIP?
It says this is not a safe place
BASED ON THE OBSERVABLE ACTION CHECK LIST YOU JUST COMPLETED, IS THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IN FACT A UNSAFE SITUATION FOR YOU TO BE INVOLVED IN?
This is a way to determine the origin of your overwhelming feelings. I may need reassurance from time to time and you reunify with being. Over time you will be able to distinguish true from the false evidence that the belief self is always unconsciously creating to get you back in its control. Remember that the being will never control but rather guide you. The belief self will always try to control because it always feels unsafe.
COPYRIGHT 2012 RETROCOLLECTIVE PUBLISHING GROUP ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
THIS IS A SAMPLE FROM THE UPCOMING BOOK ENTITLED "THE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF BEING"
BY THE CREATIVE COLLECTIVE ALLIANCE
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